I know that some of you out there reading this aren’t Christian, but there is a prayer called The Serenity Payer that many of the Christians I know pray on a regular basis, and goes like this:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change:
Courage to change the things that I can:
And wisdom to know the difference.
Positive thinker, regardless of whether or not you’re a Christian, I believe that this is a good notion to live by…
There are always going to be things in your life that you have no control over. And no matter how much effort you put into trying to change it, it will never change. Sometimes people spend so much of their time trying to figure out a way to change these unchangeable situations, when what they should actually be doing is learning how to change their frame of mind, so that they can accept that they can’t change the situation.
You can’t force that person you’re in a relationship with to be a better person, but you can accept that that’s the way that they are.
You can’t change your ethnicity or the DNA you have, but you can choose to focus on the good aspects that come along with being born the way that you are.
And you can’t change what other people say about you when you are not around, but you can accept that they are just words and that they don’t necessarily reflect who you are as a person.
When you hold on to things that you cannot change, you expend a lot of energy on something that can never benefit you. You wouldn’t spend hours and hours trying to get a 10,000 pound concrete wall to budge, so why would you spend all of your time and resources on trying to get something in your life that cannot move to move? The sooner you learn to accept the things that you cannot change, the sooner you’ll be able to move on with your life.
In the same way that there are things that you will encounter that you cannot change, there are also things that you do have the power to change. You may not be able to change how the other person in your toxic relationship acts, but you can remove yourself from that situation if it’s causing you too much pain and not enough growth and happiness.
Your ethnicity or any other part of your DNA may never change, but you can fight and protest to make conditions better for yourself and people like you who share the same traits as you do.
And you may not be able to change what other people say about you when you’re not around, but you can change how you react to what they say. If they say bad things about you, don’t react poorly because then they’ll only have more negative things to say about you. Instead, keep your head up and focus on the good things about you and the good things that people are saying.
When you want to make a change, the difficult part becomes summoning up enough courage to make the change that you want to see. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the habitual nature of that negative thing that we think that it’s okay to keep experiencing it. We think that because it’s been like that for so long that this is the way it’s supposed to be and that we should keep it that way because it has always been that way. Making a change is scary, but sometimes it is also necessary. You don’t want to stay in a situation that brings you harm (be it physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual), so once you identify that a change needs to be made it is up to you to summon the courage that you need to make that change possible.
Positive thinker, the first step to creating change in your life is deciding which situations you actually have control over. Once you are able to determine that, you can start making the necessary steps that you need to go through in order to make the changes in your life that you want to make. Sometimes there are moments that are perfectly clear and you’ll be able to recognize right a way that this aspect of a situation that you’re going through cannot be changed. Other times it is not as clear and you may have to ask someone or spend some extra time determining whether or not that thing can be changed. However, chances are that if you have been devoting all of your time and energy into trying to change a situation that that situation just so happens to be something that cannot be changed. You just have to take the time to seriously examine it to finally see that it is one that cannot be changed.
Learn to know the difference between what you can and cannot change and you’ll be better off for it positive thinker.
And always remember, “One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.”