Changing Yourself for the Better

I’ve been a fan of How to get Away with Murder since it first premiered back in 2014. The lead character is a successful African American woman and that’s what initially drew me to the show. But if that wasn’t enough to hook me, the intricate stories and the plot twists never leave room for a dull moment to occur. For those of you who have never watched it, you can probably guess what it’s about based off of the title of the show. Essentially, the show follows a group of students and their law school professor as they try to navigate their everyday lives while at the same time trying to get away with murders that they are involved in. The show doesn’t have the best values in it (after all they are trying to get away with murder), but every now and again there is an episode or a part in an episode that delivers an important message.

*Spoilers Ahead*

In the most recent episodes, the main character, Annalise Keating, is in jail for a crime that she didn’t commit (or at least many of the fans out there watching the show, including me, don’t think she committed the crime). While she’s waiting in jail for her trial to start, her mom and her dad come and visit her. Earlier on in the series, we learn that Annalise and her dad have had a strained relationship since she was a child. Her father was an absentee dad and for the handful of moments when he was in her life he was usually drunk and not there for her at all on an emotional level. Because of these reasons, Annalise has never liked the man, but she has learned to tolerate him at times because her mother is still in love with him after all of these years. During his visit with Annalise at the prison, she insinuates that it is his fault that she turned out the way that she did. Angrily, Annalise’s father says that she can blame him for the fact that she had a bad childhood, but she cannot blame him for the fact that she’s in prison. If she’s looking for someone to blame for that then she has to blame herself.

*Spoilers Over*

Bad things happen in our life all of the time. Some things like sickness are out of your control, but other things, like being miserable because you’re in a bad relationship, are completely within your control. And in order to make sense out of these types of situations that we can control, sometimes we look for someone to blame. Blaming someone else is usually the easier thing to do because that way you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions. Annailse was looking for someone to blame for her situation, so instead of looking within, she looked for an outside force to take the blame. Doing something like this may make you feel better momentarily because when you blame someone else that means that you aren’t the bad guy. They are. But accepting responsibility and taking the blame can actually open you up to something good.

When you take responsibility you won’t have to wait for someone else to fix your problems because you’ll realize that you have the power to fix your problems yourself. You won’t feel like you have to stay around in the bad relationship waiting for the other person to change so that you can get back to having a happy relationship. When you recognize that you are the creator of your own happiness you will find the power to leave that bad situation that you’re currently in so that you can get back to a place of happiness on your own.

Positive thinker, you can’t look for someone else to blame for your place in life. It’s time for you to take responsibility for the hand you had in creating the bad moments in your life because once realize that you are the one who has control you can also make the decision to change your life for the better. In the end, it’s you who has to be the one who’s going to make a change in your life.

Remember, “If you’re still looking for that one person who will change your life, try looking in the mirror.”

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