Healthy Competition

I have an identical twin sister, so I’ve had a companion since the moment I was conceived. It’s crazy to think that I can say that I’ve known someone literally for my entire life. Not many people out there can say that. We lived in the same room until our senior year in high school. We have a lot of the same friends. We went to the same school from preschool all the way through college. We like most of the same things (even guys), and we’ve been through everything together (the good times and the bad). People always ask me what it’s like growing up with a twin, and I never really know how to answer that, but I guess I kind of just did. There are many good things about having a twin sister, but there are also experiences that I could definitely live without. I hate getting asked the same questions over and over again…

“When one of you gets hurt, can the other one feel it?”

“Did your parents dress you up the same way when you were kids?”

“Do you ever say things at the same time?”

“Do you know what each other is thinking?”

“Did you guys ever switch places in school?”

“Who’s the smarter one?”

“Who’s the funnier one?”

“Who’s more athletic?”

The first few questions are nothing more than a little bit annoying. I would prefer it if no one asked me them, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t really hurt if they do. The last three questions, on the other hand, tend to cause a bit more damage. I try my hardest not to compare myself to my sister, but when people are constantly asking me to do it gets kind of hard not to. I usually just ignore their inquires, but even when I’m no longer in their presence, I still find myself going back over their questions in my head. “Who is the smarter one?” Who is the funnier one?” Who is more athletic?” Is it me or is it her? People spend so much time comparing the two of us that sometimes it rubs off on me. I start thinking that I’m in some competition with my sister, even though that isn’t the case. I get upset when someone laughs a little bit harder at one of her jokes. It doesn’t make me feel good when she’s able to do more push ups than me. And the only reason that I feel this way is because I’ve learned to compare myself to her.

This is my hardship, but I’m sure you have yours too. There’s always that one person (or people) in your life that you’re always comparing yourself to. Maybe you have a twin or another sibling that you’re always competing against. Perhaps you have a best friend that you can’t help but compare yourself to. Or maybe your problem comes whenever you log onto your social media accounts and scroll down your feeds. You can’t help and judge your life based off of how it relates to virtual friends. When you see someone getting married or getting another promotion, you start to think that there’s something wrong with you for not achieving these same milestones. But the thing is, life isn’t a competition. You’re going through it at your own pace, and just because someone achieves some goal before you doesn’t mean that they’re any better than you because of it.

Positive thinker, it’s really hard not to compare your life to others, but you have to stop doing it if you ever expect to have some peace of mind. We live in a world where it’s so easy to fall into a trap where you find yourself judging your life based off of someone else’s. We all get stuck in there sometimes, but the important thing to remember is that you can pull yourself out of it. You can achieve this by choosing to focus on yourself. Become so wrapped up in your own life that you don’t have the time to compare it to others. If you want to be in competition with someone, the best person to look at is that individual that stares back at you when you’re looking in the mirror. Always strive to be a better version of yourself. Work hard to achieve your dreams and to accomplish your goals, and you’ll always be a winner!