There is nobody on earth that is more critical of me than me. If you asked me to make a list of all of my positive attributes and all of my negative ones, the latter would supersede the former. It’s probably so easy for me to call out my flaws than it is for me to think of the good things about myself because that’s the type of society we live in. And since we live in that type of world, I’d be willing to bet that you’re the same way with yourself.
When it comes to outer beauty, we’re told time and time again about what’s considered positive. We look at TV, movies, and ads and they tell us how we’re supposed to look, and if we don’t look like those people then there’s clearly something that’s wrong with us. For instance, my skin’s too dark, pimply, oily, and hairy. My teeth aren’t white enough and they’re fairly crooked. I’m too big to be considered skinny, and I’m too small to be considered curvy. And believe it or not, not even the men and women who appear in these public platforms are “perfect.” They’re photoshopped until they end up looking much different than the final product that ends up being displayed to the world. Essentially, if the beauty industry didn’t get us to call our “attractiveness” into question then they wouldn’t make any money. That’s why it’s so important for them to make us believe that there is something wrong with us.
The same thing goes for our inner flaws as well. Just think of all of the self-help books out there. There are tons that prey on your insecurities. If you think that you’re too quiet then there’s something out there that you can subscribe to or purchase in order to help you get over it. There’s also a lot of emphasis that’s placed on remaining humble. So even if you do know how great you are, you aren’t supposed to let people know that. You’ll end up coming off as cocky instead of self-assured. So instead of embracing the great parts about yourself, you learn to downplay them so that you don’t end up making anyone else uncomfortable with how amazing you think you are…
And you are amazing, whether you believe it or not.
You don’t need a bunch of people who rely on your flaws to make you feel special. You don’t need their approval because if it was up to them, they would keep on finding problems with you until they had all of your money.
Positive thinker, you have to find a way to love yourself in spite of the fact that the world is trying to tell you that you should do anything but that. If you don’t know how to do it, then start with a list. In the beginning I told you that if I made a list of all of the positive and negative qualities then the one that had the negative attributes would have more items than the one with the positive ones. If that’s true for you too then I want you to just make a list of the positive aspects. Get out a pen and a piece of paper right now. At the top of it write, “I am…” and then underneath it start writing down all of the good things about you. I want you to jot down each and every positive thing that you can think of no matter how small it is. And don’t just limit your list to your outer beauty. Yes it’s good that you have smooth skin or an all-white smile, but that will fade with time. You need to make sure that you know that you’re caring and pretty or funny and attractive.
Then the next part is critical. This is what’s going to help you drill these positive qualities into your brain. Don’t just write down the list and then toss it to the side. Make sure that you look at. And do it every day. If you can, do it multiple times a day. The more that you read this list, the more it will become a part of you. You’ll actually start to believe that you’re all of those things that you say you are!