Learning to let Go

When I was younger, sometimes I would try really hard to get guys to like me. If I liked someone, I would put myself out there with the hope of him liking me back. I am a woman and I was being progressive in the sense that I didn’t wait around for a guy to pursue me. This component of my actions was a good a thing, but my desperation was not. Very often, I found myself trying to gain the attention of men who had zero interest in me. A very vivid memory that I have comes from the start of my freshman year in college. I did a summer bridge program a few weeks before my first semester started, and there was this boy who was also in the program that I had a big crush on. Because I wanted it to develop into something that was more than just a crush, I decided that I would spend my time trying to get him to like me in the same way that I liked him, so I threw all of my energy into it. My friends that I made in the program could tell that he wasn’t into me, but I just couldn’t see it. They never told me outright that I should stop trying to gain his interest, but they would drop subtle hints to try and let me know that I should move on. I never listened to them. He was giving me attention, and I liked that, so I thought that I was starting to finally get him to see me as more than just a classmate. When I look back at this snapshot in my life, I realize that he was just playing me. He knew that I liked him, and he decided to string me along even though he never had any intention of starting a relationship with me. However, at that time I didn’t know it, so I kept on pursuing my mission all the way through the first month of school.

Have you ever had one of those “aha moments” before? It usually comes out of nowhere, but when it happens, it’s pretty satisfying. It’s like all of a sudden you realize where you’ve been going wrong and you finally figure out the next steps that you should be taking to achieve that problem that you’ve been beating yourself up over. I don’t know what sparked my moment, but one day I just woke up and realized that he had been playing me. I recognized that I had been making a fool of myself over a guy who couldn’t have cared less about me. And it was also in this moment that I decided that I was worth more than that. I was a catch, and if someone wasn’t able to see that then it would be their loss, and I would just have to move on with my life and find somebody who was willing to see how great I was. And this is a principle that I have stood by since that day. I know my worth, and I am not willing to go out of my way to force somebody to see how good I am. Yes, I will still put myself out there and talk to someone that I’m interested in, but if they can’t see my goodness then they’re clearly not meant for me.

And this is a rule that everyone should abide by. It doesn’t just have to be with romantic partners. If you find yourself in a position that’s causing you way more heartache than joy, then you have to take the initiative to move on from that situation. Your time and energy is too valuable to waste on something or someone that isn’t going to make you happier or help you to achieve what you want out of life. So walk away from that unfulfilling career or relationship, and don’t be afraid to find something or somebody that is able to provide you with the fulfilment that you’re searching for.

Positive thinker, everything’s not meant to be, so if you know in your heart of hearts that you need to move on, then do so. You deserve to find happiness, and sometimes walking away will give you just that.