Do you remember the first time you had a crush? I know that I do. I was in the fourth grade and it was on this boy that I had known since the second grade. We went to school together, and the year that I first developed feelings for him we happened to be in the same class. I got nervous every time I was around him, and I couldn’t help but smile whenever he was near. We even sat next to each other for a good portion of the year, so I got to talk to him a lot. I was so concerned with what he thought about me. We went to a private school, so I couldn’t dress up in something cute, but I did make sure that my skirt was rolled up a little bit higher whenever I walked into school.

Even though I’m an adult now, I still find myself worrying about what my crushes think about me. It’s like I’m a school girl all over again, but since I no longer wear a uniform, I make sure that I look amazing whenever I’m in the presence of someone that I like. My hair has to be on point, my eyebrows have to be shaped, and I have to wear something that I know is going to catch their eye. I also make sure that I look good to them on the inside. I walk in up to date on conversations that they would find interesting, and I also act in a way that they would like. In those moments, it’s so important to me that they like me. I want to be the object of their affection. I want them to like me in the same way that I like them, so I do whatever it takes.

Although this is something that I find myself doing, there’s a part of me that knows that I shouldn’t be doing it. I shouldn’t be concerning myself with what other people think about me. I should be able to find a partner by being my authentic self. If someone doesn’t like me, whether it is in a romantic relationship or a platonic one, then that is a person that I don’t need in my life. And the same thing goes for you. You shouldn’t be changing anything about yourself unless you want to change it in order to make yourself happier. Changing to get someone else’s attention is never a good idea. When you start to alter how you look and how you act for another person’s benefit then you’ll also start losing who you truly are. There’ll come a day when you look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll see a stranger staring back at you. You’ll hear someone that sounds like you, but the words that are coming out of their mouth couldn’t be further from what you believe. And trust me, you don’t ever want to get to a place where you no longer know the person you’ve become.

Positive thinker, instead of spending so much time worrying about what other people think about you, you should be more concerned with what you think about yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the only person that’s going to be there for you 100 percent of the time. You can’t get rid of yourself, so you should focus on creating a version of yourself that you’re happy to live with. Too many times we find ourselves in a position where we want to be liked. Nobody enjoys being disliked, which is why we try so hard to avoid it. And sometimes we think that the best way to avoid this is to change ourselves so that we can be more desirable. The truth of the matter is that instead of seeking out people that you’d have to change to be around, you should find people that accept you as you. If they don’t like the version of yourself that makes you the happiest then they don’t deserve a place in your life.

Never think that you have to be anyone other than who you are in order to find people that will like you. There are individuals out there who like you just the way you are. Find them, and don’t settle for anything less!