I eat healthy (most of the time) and I workout at least four times a week, but even though I do this, I’m still no size zero. No one looks at me and thinks that I could walk down a runway during fashion week, but at the same time no one is looking at me and thinking that I should be on one of those shows that follow a 1000 pound woman. I consider myself to be an average sized woman. I’m not too small, and I’m not too big either. But even though I know this, there are still many times in my life when I feel like I’m a beached whale.
For instance, I had this internship at a photography studio. My work there consisted of writing, but since I had to come into the studio, I was constantly around models. These tall, skinny, perfect-skinned, beautiful-haired women would come in and out all day and I really started to feel bad about my own appearance. Suddenly, my excess fat in my mid-section seemed like it was too much. My jiggling thighs and arms made me feel self-conscious. And all I wanted to do was run into the nearest bathroom and shove my fingers down my throat.
The same feeling happens a lot when I go to the gym. It seems like the vast majority of the people that workout where I do were cut straight out of a fitness magazine. The men are ripped, and so are the women. And this would be okay for me if it wasn’t for the fact that they walked around in outfits that highlighted just how fit they are. The men have shirts that hug each and every glistening muscle, leaving nothing to the imagination. And the women walk around in their sports bras showing off their perfectly flat stomachs. Then there’s me. As I run on the treadmill dripping buckets of sweat in my oversized t-shirt that hides my pooch, I stare enviously at these people who seem to live, eat, and sleep at the gym.
This feeling also happened a lot when I was in college. My school was located in the part of the city where being skinny was the norm. I’m not exaggerating when I say that the vast majority of the women at my university were between a size zero and a size two. There was even a rumor going around that the people who worked in the food establishments on campus were being ordered to spray fat on the salads so that the women would start gaining weight. They were insanely skinny, and because I didn’t fit this mold, I would find myself wanting to fit it so that I didn’t stand out so much.
Now like I said, I know that I have a decent body, and the same way that I look at these skinny fit people with envy, I’m sure there are people out there who look at me the same way. Everybody wants to be different than they are in some way. It may not be a total transformation, but there are parts of you that you would want to do without. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re too tall. Perhaps you don’t like how talkative you are. Or it might be the fact that you’re too serious. The thing is, these “flaws” are part of what makes you special. You wouldn’t be the same person if you were as short as you wanted to be. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t talk as much. And you would be someone completely different if you weren’t as serious as you are.
Positive thinkers, stop trying so hard to be like someone else. The best part about being you is that you are the only one in existence. Take pride in that! And if you do want to change yourself, just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Don’t do it because you’re trying to be more like someone else, do it because you want to be a brighter and better version of yourself. If you change for the wrong reasons then you’re not going to be happy with the new you, but if you do it for the right reasons then you can actually be happy about it.
Just be you! You’ll be happier for it!